Home for a few days

My Anna is home for a few days. It is SO wonderful. It was worth every rain drop I drove through to get her. It feels so good and right to have her here. We picked this weekend as there were two Emmaus services for her to soak up and refresh herself with and YES, that is wonderful too. I know it will pass way too quickly but even for a few hours of being all together I would do it again. I will not type too much more as it will hurt and make me cry but it is all good and I will enjoy every smile and laugh together in person as I can. We talk a lot while she is at school but having her bodily here is just different. Her siblings are enjoying it too and overall life is 'normal'. Sigh.

It is DONE

Here is one of the pictures of the vestment cabinet completed. It was well worth the effort and is now happily at Emmaus filled with wonderful vestments. Woo Hoo! Happy for Emmaus and proud of dear husband for a job well done and brought to completion. He can now breathe and is looking forward to a quiet evening inside the house and is going to go pick up a movie to watch with the elder crowd this evening. I have a yummy dinner in the oven for us to all eat together with him at the table as well. That will be a refreshing change. There are more pictures on facebook.

Alone time and sleep

I may have to establish some new habits. I am not sure if I am capable of this though. I am becoming majorly sleep deprived. Some of my sleep deprivation is self induced. I tend to like to have a little alone or adult only time after the kids are in bed. An hour or two of not answering questions or giving directions floats my boat. Of course there is silly internet time too. So I usually manage to get to sleep between ten and eleven depending on whether husband darling wants to watch silly tv with me, or college daughter dear wants to call and giggle about insanity etc. Sigh. I love this time. But.............Ingrid has taken to getting up in the three to four o'clock a.m. range and this morning got up at 4:30 and would NOT go back to sleep.........until now. It is 6:38 a.m. and I've had my coffee (yes, with caffeine) and the poor little Ingrid dear is tuckered out.
Her poor tuckered out mommy was beside herself this morning just wanting to catch a few more winks. I am thinking I might have to get to bed earlier and then have my alone time at 4:00 a.m.????? Ouch. I SOOOO need to have a night of quality sleep. My sleep deprived college daughter and I have much to commiserate on. I am glad I don't have a test in the morning though.

The biggest problem with sleep deprivation is having the energy to face what I have to do during the day. I keep pushing myself to stay on my feet to get that load of laundry put away or follow through with dinner plans so I am not tempted to make scrambled eggs for dinner. I feel asleep on my feet at times. Then there is the cranky wanky sensations that sneak up on me.

Right now I am contemplating dear Polly's suggestion of using a squirt gun to get the teenagers up in the morning.........heh, heh, heh. I am also hoping I can get Ingrid back in her bed so I can move around and get something other than silly blogging done. Good morning everyone else! On to the rest of the day!

Almost done and cooking from scratch

The second coat of polyurethane is going on and we are definitely in the home stretch. I don't think there is any other way he would have gotten this thing done except to go all out and work intense hours on it to complete it. I think I heard the vestments talking last night and saying something about the rumor that they won't have to fear for their lives for much longer. I am sure I heard them. Ok.......getting a little (a lot) tired.

We have NOT eaten together very much lately and that has to start happening again. I can't seem to manage to get food done at a reasonable hour anymore either. Cooking from scratch is what I always do (mostly) and I can tell you quickly why I have never been very successful keeping up with the winter squash in the past. It takes too much time to prepare. I am hoping to get a bunch peeled up and frozen so dinner is not so time consuming. The preparation and clean up is making me a little nutty. Pots and pans all over the place. The veges were free though so I should use them. Sigh. I shouldn't have any trouble sleeping through Ingrid's teething tonight. Yikes. I still need to clean up the mess and the kids still have some homework to do. Double sigh.

Squash Mobile

Today Erik went to help our vege farmer friend clean up his fields. I winterized the bees there this morning and when I picked him up, he let us pick some butternut squash to take home. When he says pick some squash, he means the equivalent of ten bushels. Last week we probably brought home 7 bushels of acorn squash and spaghetti squash and this week we probably brought home seven of butternut squash. I have squash to share. I am hoping to use it a lot this winter. Half the battle is finding the energy to process it so you can eat it. Perhaps we will all turn orange. Matthew hates butternut squash so I am not sure how that will work for him but the rest of us love it.

My van was full of acorn squash last week and is now full of the butternut. I drive the squash mobile. I hope to give some away tomorrow morning. There is no way we can eat all that.

It has been a long day. I am asleep in my chair but should go make some granola for my hubby. He is preparing to attempt to stay on his feet to stain the vestment cabinet. It is beautiful. I suppose some would say too beautiful but like anyone in their work, he does not like to do something half way and there is something to be said about having something nice for the vestments anyway. I hope to help him carry the back of the cabinet into the great room here in a minute and I hope I don't hurt my back. I have a twinge from carrying it from the barn to the front hallway. Rats........

Squash anybody????

Brain still not working

I meant to say Ingrid and Cecilia are now sick........Ingrid.....Martin.......hmmmmm.........I can see how I mixed them up.

Long but productive week

This has been the week of the flu but will not bore you (again) with all that. I will call this the evaluation week or the parent/teacher week. How can that be if the parent is the teacher? Well, since we were home all week, we were totally focused on getting homework done and I was totally focused on figuring out who has been doing their homework and who hasn't. Very interesting. I suppose that is what makes me 100 percent mean. Right at the moment we are all taking a breather as it is Friday night. Matthew and I are listening to book two of Harry Potter. I am determined to get through those things and figure if I carry the books on cd around while folding laundry or doing dishes, I will finally get through them all. Martin and Cecilia have caught the bug now too. Matthew says I am like Mrs. Weasley. Well they are like the Weasley boys.....we got rid of the chickens and I don't have time to knit anymore but do occasionally drool at a sweater pattern.

Anyway, everyone is working hard for the most part on the old homework thing and I need to exercise my accountability muscle even more than before. I am going to simplify some areas with one kid and ride herd on another to just keep at it, and two others are homework maniacs and then.........one is cute. Two others are cute too and one of them might be learning as much as the oldest cute kid.

Sigh. My brain is going constantly on how best to serve this crowd. I neglect my friends and family although some call occasionally and I see a few here and there. That is always special. I go biking almost every day so I can process all I need to get done and figure out how best to do it without losing my mind. I try to keep all this school stuff in perspective and really do appreciate the benefits homeschooling affords. Phew. I know Anna made it through with me and is doing quite well at IU so I will hold onto that. It will all work out in the end. Sometimes I wish I had a teacher's aid to help with the grading and then a cook would be helpful too. One can dream...............

Not done yet

Cecilia got sick last night so clearly her headache from the other day was not just a form of the sickness or maybe it was. Hopefully she is done. This sickness seems to be never ending. I should have done what the Great Brain's mother did and shoved them all in bed together or something and perhaps gotten this over with a long time ago. There are people in this world who know how much I loath the stomach flu in large families. I am not crazed or a control freak but practically speaking if someone says there is stomach flu in their family I very well might take my children and run like the wind. You have permission to run like the wind from us. It won't offend me and don't overprocess my feelings while you do so. Ingrid was so pathetic with it and the flu has otherwise just been taking it's sweet time getting through the family. I just pray Charley is spared as he has his 'project' to work on.

I need to go reboot the laundry and muster the strength to declutter some of the house. I have a compulsion to wash the floors over and over again. How do you know they are really clean???? I hate the stomach flu!!!!

Mom observation

I am sure this applies to dad's too. Yesterday, as I was developing an acute case of cabin fever, and I had finally gotten everyone to bed, I decided to sit down...........alone in my chair............watch a M*A*S*H episode...........and eat ice cream. When I dish myself that 'eat by yourself quietly' bowl of ice cream I look forward to the silence and reveling in every bite. Well..........five minutes into the eating process, here come Cecilia who sits on the couch and stares at me and then starts crying. "What's wrong daughter dear and why are you up and why are you crying?" "I don't know........sob, sob." says Cecilia. Well she was probably crying because her mother dared to watch something without her and dared to eat ice cream alone. I also get this picture in my mind of the badger Francis and her thinking about what the moth on the screen reminds her of..........whack and smack goes the wings on the screen..........whack and smack remind her of.......I love that book.

The observation was, your own families tend to take great liberties whining at their mothers. Whining at mom is an inalienable right. It seems never ending on some days and then my poor husband comes home and makes some Mr. Obvious observations about what is amiss in the house and in his innocence can not understand why his wife is growling at him.

Mom, what is there to eat?

Mom, I can't find my math book.

Screaming at sibling over offense.

No mom, I do not have my assignments done.

Fine! I will do my homework that was due two weeks ago. Stomp, stomp.........

Karin, it looks like people in this house have thrown their stuff all over this room! (they did honey. Obvious. but thank you for pointing that out to me or I may not have noticed.)

So........all of these things are in the whining category. Funny, we spend most of our life whining. If a friend calls, then we hear their whining and they hear ours. What a hoot. I personally am suffering from acute cabin fever and have a HIGH need to interact with ADULTS so nearly a week of just dealing with my poor family, who as most families, sees mom as the person to whine and be disagreeable to, I am looking forward to seeing other humans! Funny as well, if non-family members whine at me about their troubles, I don't even care!!!!! I laugh or listen intently and am comforted that it isn't just me. I shouldn't laugh at their suffering but they are laughing too.

Laugh more. Listen more. Oh..........don't whine at the mom or at least limit your whining. She already knows your troubles and is just trying to help make them go away. Maybe I need to move into Erik's hermitage but of course I hate camping so scratch that thought. Do remember to clean up after yourself and probably most of all (non-reality thinking) instead of whining about the state of affairs, roll up your sleeves and do something about it!!!! EVERYONE might learn something by your willingness to make some of the subject of whining GO AWAY!!!! Now I will have to have my kids read my blog...........

Toodles!

Sicko update

Today Cecilia had a headache most of the day but nothing worse than that. Yippee. She seems better and no one else has come down with it so perhaps we are out of the woods. I SO do not want to get other people sick as the throw up thing is NO ONE'S favorite thing. I think I tend to want to spare people even if there is a potential of one of my kids coming down with it once it gets going in the family. Sniffles are one thing but..........spreading the throw up thing to other families, especially since most families I know have babies and many children, just does not seem very nice. There is nothing more horrifying to my imagination then to have another kid inform me their sibling was throwing up earlier in the evening while they are smiling at me and spending close time with those around them. Ugh. Sigh. I am so..........so.............opinionated and ornery. This is the way we wash our hands, wash our hands, wash our hands..............Goodnight!

Spoke too soon

Two days ago Erik stressed to me that he would sleep in his hermitage till the end of October. Well...........he changed his mind. The next morning he announced that he was moving back it. He's been out there at least six months. Now he is back in his room with his tools and his six year old brother.

Biking

The new challenges of biking are, I think I need to do some 'research' on how to stay warm when biking in colder weather. I know I biked in colder weather in the spring but it kept getting warmer so it wasn't too daunting. Now it is getting colder and no doubt it will continue to get colder. I have Charley's biking pants that I gave him a few years ago and now seem to be mine. Then there are my ears.......how to fit a hat under my helmet. Speaking of helmets, I have a fat head. I couldn't find my helmet as it got buried in the back room under some blankets, so I was trying everyone else's helmets on and I must have quite the fat head. Their helmets just pearched on the top of my head and I couldn't cram them on at all. I almost went without a helmet but good thing I didn't as in my usual grace and style I managed to have my first spill on the bike. What an oof. It hurt at first but like a good horse rider I got back on and headed home. At the moment I feel fine..........we'll see what the morning brings. Basically I want to keep exercising as much as possible this winter and if the roads are dry, I love to bike so will have to figure out how best to do that. My family is so much happier if I am biking.........;O). I am sure others are happier too.

That is all for now.

The Hermitage

As my eldest son walked by me a few minutes ago with a pillow I realized I probably have never mentioned that he has been living in a hermitage since last spring sometime. Maybe I did mention it but I can't remember. Well, he says he will continue sleeping in the tent till Reformation Day. There are some cold nights coming up.........yikes. He loves it out there. His dad did the same thing when he was his age so this is sort of cute. I don't think Charley stayed out there as long. He had a school bus to catch in the morning so perhaps that was a deterent to getting up in time. Brrrr............exciting post eh? Just thought it was worth mentioning the odd habits of my children...........oh, the hermitage is a tent..........

Sickos again

What a day this has been. I wrote a great big lovely post about it and then the computer did bad things and did not save it. Oh well. Not that exciting.

Martin is now sick. Stefan was sick again this afternoon. Our plans for tomorrow keep getting simpler but I am a little disappointed none the less. It isn't the kids fault but one of us parental people will miss Matthew's confirmation now. Sigh. I guess the rest of my day tomorrow and plans to enjoy visiting with his Godparents and others will have to wait. Sigh.

Made lemonade

Since we did not go to Ft. Wayne today, I decided to attack the house when I wasn't taking care of the little fellow. He slept for three hours this afternoon and woke up hungry. While he was sleeping I had all the kids remove all of their clothes from their dressers and bring it down to be put away. I asked that they keep only long sleeve/long pants (that would be winter) stuff in their closets and everything else had to go. It is occurring to me that I didn't even bring in any winter clothes from the storage area and they had enough already squirreled in the closets to call it good. I think that means they have too many clothes. They now can close their closets and life is a lot less overwhelming in there. I still have Stefan and Ingrid's stuff to go through. Perhaps I will get to that next week.

I went through my closet and it was like shopping without going shopping. I have these three baskets on top of my wardrobe that house the opposite season clothes. This seasonal switch is like visiting with old friends so I suppose going shopping without leaving the house was not so bad. Low and behold I found three pairs of skinny jeans in there. Phew. I needed those. I also found my belt so if they still don't fit I am armed to not have to keep pulling up my pants. That's another phew. I feel ready to face the winter now.

I now have four bags of stuff for the seminary and I am sure I could come up with a lot more. I was going to take that stuff today but obviously that didn't happen so I will have to find someone going that way to take them along with them. They are screaming to leave our house!

So the day was not too bad and hopefully no one else decides to get sick as soon as my eyes close tonight. Poor little Stefan got sick in the night and I never heard it. Being an inexperienced sick kid, it did not occur to him to call for me. He just went back to sleep!!!! Poor thing. Sorry if you just ate dinner.............

That is all for today...........I think.........

Rats

I shouldn't get my hopes up or plan fun things. I was hoping to go to Ft. Wayne today and do something fun with the kids for a change but the little Fefan is not feeling the best. I can neither take him with or leave him home to torture Matthew. What would be the point of that . He is simply miserable. So we are going to do the usual school thing/cleaning gig and maybe I will go this afternoon if he is feeling a little better. I will just go by myself with the Ingrid if that is the case. My younger children seemed most confused anyway about what we were doing so I suppose it is best not to confuse them and just stick to the home front. Dragging seven kids to do anything is another word for torture at times anyway. Sigh.

Time to go figure out how to help Stefan now. Hope he spends some quiet time today. It's been basic crying and screaming so far.........

Also losing my marbles

After returning from piano lessons and continuing to treat the rotten milk drinker, LaRena shows up for co-op. Yay! I was actually organized and ready to put those kids through the paces. I did miss Nick though......... Anyway, LaRena looked rather tired and I think I just AM tired lately so we vowed to make the best of the day and perhaps even end a little early since we were down one student. Stefan fell asleep in my lap at noon and I decided to brew some decaf for the weary teachers. I forgot for awhile that I had even done that but when I went to go get the coffee it looked sadly watery. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong........hmmmm.......

We survived co-op and I made it through the rest of the day including buying more food for the pigs (rabbits). Dinner was yummy with Cecilia's chicken topping from cooking club and her dad insists we do that every time (yay Karen!). Martin and Cecilia made pumpkin and apple pie for everyone and of course feared we'd give it all away before they got to eat some. (we didn't). Then I went to make my weary, worn out husband some decaf and...........figured out why LaRena's coffee was so watery. I forgot to put the coffee in the coffee pot!!!! There it say in the grinder. I am losing it! So LaRena and I had some lovely hot coffee flavored water earlier and didn't seem too bothered by it. I guess I need to clean the pot out too!

The other stupid thing I did the last few weeks was not being able to find my glasses. I was getting desperate last night and actually even asked a friend to pray I find the dumb things. Well, literally minutes after I hung up the phone from that conversation I decided to go back and look in my cosmetic bag from when I went to Bloomington a few weeks ago. I had looked there already so it didn't seem possible they were there. Inside I found this little zipper side pocket.........they were there. Marbles spilling everywhere (my brains) and I will also have to think of other silly things for the friend to pray about. That was amazing - har, har. Perhaps I will stop falling asleep in Bible class now as my contacts can make me sleepy. We shall see what other ridiculous things I will do today. Ummm..........eggs without the eggs, toast without bread, baby without diapers...............

Forgot what day it was

This morning I indulged myself by sleeping til 7:15. It was great. No kids were up (yet) so I decided to get a few things done. Why not? I can get so much more done if the kids are still sawing logs. So I decided to just let them sleep while I brewed my coffee (naughtily drinking caffeine in the morning again) and checked the old email and then decided to wash the floor under the dining room table. It was getting very disgusting and the time seemed right. Low and behold Stefan was a the table and he had retrieved a sipper cup from the fridge and was sucking it down as fast as he could. I don't think he drank enough yesterday. I washed the floor while he jabbered away about what I was doing. I love these two year old moments.
All the while I was thinking about how I had til 10:30 or maybe 11:00 until co-op started and what might I get done in that time. Still no other kids were up and then around 8:15 it dawned on me! Ack!!!!! Tuesday is piano lesson day!!!!! AT 9:00 a.m.!!!!! I forgot!! Well the mommy alarm went off loud and clear, the kids understood perfectly that there was definitely a problem and they needed to move fast. In fifteen minutes they got dressed, ate, got their music and made it to the van. We made it to lessons with five minutes to spare. I am not sure what is wrong with my brain but my floor is clean now.

Oh.........just as I was getting ready to run out the door Stefan threw up. The milk he got from the fridge was bad and for some reason he still drank it. He is fine now but it took the morning for his stomach to settle down. Poor kid. Poor Erik who was left with him and got to clean the throw up off the couch. Sigh. Hope there is nothing going on tomorrow morning.

The Vestment Cabinet

As I am writing this the first pieces of "The Vestment Cabinet" are being glued together. I am not sure how long ago, two, maybe three years ago, Charley agreed to make a vestment cabinet for the church for the beloved, amazing vestments. Just this morning, when taking my eldest son to church to fill the candles, I dared to put my big toe in the sacristy to see what the vestments are hanging on now. I've never even put my little toe in there. Ahem. Yeah. Need something better than that....uh....hanger thingy to hang up the vestments. (Interesting room.) Why did this project take so long? Well, I can tell you why. It is huge. It is intricate. It will be beautiful. It is daunting. If I were Charley I would have been more than a little daunted by this project. After two (plus) years of gently asking and wondering how that was going to less than a month ago having a not so very nice conversation with him about 'just get it done' he has sold his soul to the vestment cabinet.

The man, in between the stressors at work and trying to perhaps change a diaper maybe or say 'oh yes, I remember Ingrid. Did she grow since I last saw her?' has gone from his day job, immediately to the barn to work on the cabinet. He stays in there on his feet till he flops in bed late at night. Or of course there were the couple times we visited with others that helped him come inside and eat and then see some other hunanoids. Do I write that to make anyone feel guilty? No. He isn't looking for any recognition but his weird wife now wonders if this work of art belongs in the sacristy????? Perhaps it could be a Lutheran confessional or something. It is huge!!!! Can it sit in the sanctuary? Of course not. But it is beautiful and amazing and I can honestly be awed and stunned by it.

Anna does not get her gift for art and precise craftsmanship from her mother. That would be the dad gene. Wow. I do miss seeing him around in the evening but I suppose he was usually busy chasing after this old place before he was working on that. His whole weekends outside of church the month of September have been constantly in the barn with a bite or two eaten in between. We have done nothing 'fun' as a family in a month including not even watching a simple movie together. He makes me tired just thinking about it but I suppose this is nothing new as he always has had his sleeves into something that keeps him busy. Although he did used to come in at night to tuck a few kids in etc and of course eat with us.

So I lift a toast to the fact that the end is in sight. Old man winter is knocking on the door and Charley is trying to beat the cold. Fortunately a fellow Bosch worker is over helping to do the gluing and another Bosch employee will be handling the varnishing. I am proud of him and he actually has enjoyed the experience and learned from it. The cabinet will serve its purpose and I am glad. No will go in and study the vestment cabinet or wonder if they can learn something from the Behemoth in the sacristy but.............and please..........no plaques............but know it was a daunting task and a work of love for his pastors and congregation. I do hope people can use their imaginations to recognize what a labor of love it has been and my apologies to my husband (I will tell him in person) for ever thinking "why can't you just put that thing together?)There...........that is all I have to say.........for now.

Figured out why I am hyper

I should NOT be taking time out to do this but I am so hyper I cannot help myself. It is very interesting to me that certain people's reveling in their 'poor me's' is making me confront my own issues. In thinking about the mentality of poor me's I am recognizing that I don't know a single person who does not in one way or another revel in their great amount of daunting whatever in their lives. Drat that vocation thing does drag us down doesn't it? The particular person/people who revelled to my personal frustration have made me want to get off my duff and attack my daunting lists. I find it comical in an ironic sort of way that our daunting lists leave us wanting attention etc. Poor me. I am as guilty as the next person about this. It also makes me over process what compassion or the lack there of looks like. Another person's poor me's can honestly make me a little mad. I know that shouldn't be but frankly the, everyone has something daunting in their lives thing does not make it a contest to see who has it worse. Boy that sounds cold. How do I cheerfully show compassion and yet address other people's responsibility to do what they are given to do now and help them recognize that EVERYONE has daunting stuff to face up to. My daunting list does not give me any public recognition of importance and the funny thing is the 'mom thing' is not recognized much at all as having any significance to rest of the world at all.

Gosh I have been guilty of feeling sorry for myself and thinking 'poor me.' Stop it. Easier said than done. I quickly gravitate to poor me when I see an infant or contemplate others potential of enlarging their families and then bam I might start overprocessing fretting over that. That IS my biggest issue right now I would say. I crossed off the list for now being frustrated with hyper ADD family members, daughter flying the coop, and my inability to get it all done (this I am sure will all real its ugly head again) and so I am now learning to be content from month to month without the poor me thing, trying not to cry thing, and will try to keep MY vocation thing clearly, cheerfully in front of me. Ha! Life is so funny.

So that is why I am hyper. I don't even dare to write this stuff as there are so many theologically versed people who lurk around that I am certain that what I am thinking and processing is somehow off. Sure I know all of this post might smack of some sort of self-righteousness but frankly I see everyone floating in the same boat and dealing with our own sin (or not) and it........just.....is.........making me hyper. I have a strong need to face my own poor me's right now so there! Na nee na nee poo poo! I will do my best to exercise my compassion muscle for my neighbor's struggles and poor me's. It is the least I can do in light of my own.

All in a day's work

I feel like we have hit a groove here at the Horner household. The husband is hyper-actively working on finishing the vestment cabinet. This is huge as the job is DAUNTING to say the least. He is doing a beautiful job and we push to the finish line. The sheer number of pieces in this thing is unbelievable so I have no doubt it will look amazing in the end. It is quite large or will be when it is put together so perhaps we should have a tea party inside it before it is moved to it's final resting place..........the sacristy. I hope the vestments can hold on (hold up?) as they have been patiently waiting for a more secure home. Enthused smiles at his long in coming push to finish this thing are always appreciated but of course can not be expected. Ok........I can and will keep up the encouragement in this department because this project certainly is not a 'published' project but has equal amazing qualities that perhaps can only be appreciated by the down to earth type of person. He has gone every day from his day job (which we are glad there still is one) to coming home without eating and working through the evening till 9 and 10 o'clock to get this done. And I thought I was the energizer bunny lately.

The rest of the household has been figuring out how to take their education a little more seriously. Ok, a lot more seriously........... I feel like a drill sergeant in many ways, holding them accountable to trying to keep up with the amazing reappearing clutter, the amazing amount of dishes produced and then on top of all that keeping up with stepping up the expectations for their schooling. The kids were grounded from tv as there was consistent neglect of their school work and certainly no serious consideration taken of the fact that they were falling behind in many subjects or not doing them at all. I might even up the ante and make it a month from when they catch up in some subjects. The younger ones tried to trick me (not really intentionally) as they 'forgot' they had been grounded from tv and called me while I was out playing with bees to ask if they could watch a movie. Not only did they forget but I did too! I said yes initially and then my brain engaged and remembered the tv ban and called them back. They were in disbelief!!!!! What????? Why????? Goes to show you how seriously they take what I say. Hard nosed Horner rears her ugly head. There has been progress though and they are clearly working hard but some still struggle with follow through with the subjects they struggle with. I guess we all do that don't we. I struggle with eating fruits/veges and drinking enough water and do you think I follow through?????? Not. Perhaps they should ground me from chips and salsa and chocolate in the check out line. I am so weak.

Tomatoes are on my docket this weekend as most of the family is disappearing for this and that. We (I) need to become a tomato processing machine. I would love to fill the shelves to reduce the grocery bill and improve meals as long as possible. The mere thought of chili with home canned tomatoes makes me drool.

Ok, need to go attack this day and continue to help THEM work on self-discipline. I suppose I could try and eat some broccoli to console them.

Experiment....again

Different experiment this time. So my dear husband's job after 23 years is somewhat in question. No one knows for sure what is happening and no one then can tell us what to expect etc. The only 'plan' that Charley and I have come up with is to figure out what it really takes to make it from month to month financially. So we are running a little experiment and it is pretty interesting. Duh. We are seeing what it really takes to make it from month to month by living as if we are making A LOT less. Our goals basically have been to not decrease our giving, not eat poorly, take stock in what we really need and not go the route of 'gosh that is a cute little outfit for cute little so and so' but........hmmmmm.........there are plenty of cute 'vintage' stuff in containers to put on that cute little hiney so restrain yourself.

Generosity is not being discounted and that is not to say we are proud of that but we don't want to forget our neighbors in our experiment. I guess it really isn't an experiment but a reality as the job truly is in HIGH question. The rant with the kids is to at least attempt to think about taking care of their stuff so it doesn't break and have the 'money grows on trees, we will just buy a new one' mentality.

Food issues in the past have been that what is brought home from the store really is to last the week and not eaten in a few days and start looking for more. I'm more motivated to keep up on the granola making in light of the expense of store bought cereal that results in soon hungry kids anyway. I can not say I am making myself crazy with this either. I am simply trying to be more conscientious about planning meals so there are not further science experiments in the fridge which would just frustrate me and especially the dear husband who sees money being thrown in the garbage for the sake of oversight and poor planning.

I sound like a rich brat I suppose as yes, in retrospect I have been concerned about these things but not to the point of really wondering how many paychecks are left. Charley does have some alternative possibilities in mind if the job went belly up so that is good. The Lord has not failed to provide for us yet and I suppose both of us growing up on definite budgets makes all this less painful. Life does not have to be really expensive with a little planning and ingenuity.

I don't believe in taking too much stock in coincidence or God sending me booming messages but sappy example of His provision is little Stefan needed shoes which I was not finding in the shoe resource bin to fit his little feet and I did look at some 'cheap' options for his little feet at the store one day. Passing them up and coming home hoping to look again in the store house, Charley came home with a bag of clothes from a friend in Ohio. Inside the bag were the exact size shoes Stefan needed and they were Clarks! Clarks for my almost three year old. Aren't we happening parents???? So I am thankful and duh, these things will work out.

I think the kids are thinking about all of this but per a few comments yesterday, I do need to chat with them about not lying awake at night wondering what is going to happen to us etc. I don't want any of them worrying. I suppose it is nice that they are considering their choices but I also think I have not talked to them enough about how much or little they need to process all this. God daily and richly provides all we need to support this body and life. This IS most certainly true. He never failed to provide for either Charley or my family growing up and neither of us lived a posh life by any stretch of the imagination. Oh........there is a blog post that has been in the making for a long time. Stay tuned.........pastor's kid/brat - professor's kid/brat - growing up and my view of the world and the world's seeming view of me. I will have to get up early again tomorrow.