Bible study

I forgot to mention the biggest frustration. No it is not Bible study but the inability to go to Bible study. My whole adult life I have for the most part been able to attend Bible study in one form or another but ever since Stefan became a wiggler, screamer that has not been the case. So I got the idea from another family to buy an MP3 player and have my daughter record class. That helped a lot but stupidly I attended Bible study a week ago Monday and it felt so good to actually be with the rest of the people there and not just hear it long after the fact. My mean and selfish self would just like to be there. But I have concluded that this in NOT my time in life and won't be for quite a long time to be able to attend. I knew that before so why did I torture myself with a taste of what I love? Of course I love my babies and want to do what is best for them above my selfish needs but that doesn't mean it isn't hard. So that was the reason I lost it Monday night this week. Ugh. Since we have this lovely upcoming schedule I am trying to work it out with dh that we can get the younger kids to bed by 8:00 at the latest and I will cheerfully stay home and do this. I did mention it might be nice to be able to go these last few weeks to class for just a little treat. Sunday mornings are great as Sandy does watch the little noise makers during class so that has been very nice and have I mentioned that the new schedule will be nice with the 5 to 9 year olds busy in a class of their own. Thank you Pastors! Oh, I said that last time. Sigh.

Time to go find my house.