Just for the general publics knowledge (as if you didn't already know this), Karin has an attitude. As I watch my dear friends deal with their kiddos and see in them the same reactions to weirdness and unpredictable behavior, I become more obsessed with just keeping things simple. These same people filter the needs of lots of little people who are at a cognitive level that does not include understanding what will happen if they continue running through the house (again) and their little brother is playing in the pathway. They just seem to not get it. "I am enjoying the running, and so is my friend so what is the problem anyway?" "Mom, why does your hand shake anyway while you are trying to drink your coffee???" This thought actually may never run through their minds until they are maybe 16.
What am I trying to say? I truly think all people filter a lot of other people stuff all the time. I am just not good at it. Containment. I contain a lot for a long time. The kid stuff, the friend stuff of not quite understanding where they are coming from unless they speak clearly (I am usually obviously cryptic). If you are going to be cryptic, then how about just saying what is really on your mind......????? Then there comes a point that I have to tell people that I just can not handle any more conditions of what is happening. If it is time for lunch, eat it. If the kids are getting together with friends, tell me if I need to drive. If you do not like my house keeping, keep it to yourself. If you participate in guessing what crazy Karin is thinking, then call her and invite her for a cup a coffee and ask her to explain herself. But......don't guess what I am thinking. Don't guess what anyone would say or do but direct them to the source. If I call and say I may be late, assume that I have a good reason and not that I have been tied up shopping thrivolously for bon, bons.....they have those at the check out lane and it doesn't take too long to pick them up.
Mom's with children in that lovely 'can't think of anyone else's needs but my own' stage really need patience from others. If their eyes glaze over they could look like that for any number of reasons. Perhaps they are thinking of the melt down that occurred over breakfast when their sibling told them they couldn't eat dad's cereal. Perhaps they are dreaming of those sweet moments of rest before their eyes shut last night. Perhaps they are processing how to keep up with their children's rashes or nose picking habits. The list is endless. These are just real issues that may distract a mom from remembering to smile at you in the grocery or even get out of your way. These are all just silly things, but unless I am truly totally crazy, I do think that people do mutually experience these same things. Yes, yes, we forgive, love our neighbor and go on, but I DO think it is helpful to consider that everyone has all these odditities in life and may just be tired if they look at you oddly or whatever.
My best friends just laugh at these muddle through life things. I never want someone to help change things really but just to listen and perhaps remember to pray for me the next time they see a mother with a hoard of kids putzing through the grocery store. Oh......yes.......also to forgive me for my weirdoness. I am JUST WEIRD. Please forgive me me weirdoness as I forgive those who weirdo against me. I don't need fixed, just forgiven. I do need to rant sometimes and then......forgive me. God help my future daughter-in-laws and sons-in-law. They may have to buy my some Bible beer or wine and permit me to just sit at their tables and chuckle at their current frustrations. Oh, don't forget the herring and stinky cheese. But.....please tell me if some dark chocolate will help you and if you do not like hand made sweaters, tell me upfront to save time and money. I will NOT be offended. If you don't want to have gift exchanges tell me. If you don't like working on projects and would rather just buy new, tell me (us). This Karin person is just painfully honest, tired, and perhaps needs a day to go to the Symphony and listen to some great brass music and not do anything for four hours on a train.
I can't wait for two weeks of daily divine services and maybe putting cots in the basement for my tall boys to catch some winks. THAT is what totally rocks my boat. Sigh. Is it that time yet? Pastors can we do that more often? Would your families mind if we just lived at church. Ok, ok, I will do what I am given to do and yes, I will buy Bible wine for our Higher Things fundraiser (windows, whatever).
My dh would like to communicate with me so I am done ranting.
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