So says my third child about leaving the nest. Sigh....he was talking about something related to being grown up and going to college etc. Five years. Which means Erik is about at two years and why do I feel like they are all grown up and gone already or they are slipping through my fingers. I stared at Anna last night through Bible Study (yes, I was listening when my eyes were not drifting shut- not because of content.....). Three more months which is now less then that now. I spent some time staring at my handsome sons too. I am so mixed on my excitement for them and my fear of not seeing them again. I think I am too dependant on their existence in my home. Must be that love thing where they have been so much a part of my life for so long but not long enough. Sigh.
My eccentric, post depression era depression behaving husband picked up some fresh road kill last night. It was a wild turkey which had been clipped by the car in front of him. We were sitting in the living room pleasantly reading a book out loud when he appeared in the window holding a turkey by it's legs. "Come on boys, let's skin it!" Well.....apparently my little two year old observed all of this and they even 'skun' it right outside the window for his little eyes to watch.
This morning my dear little son will not stop saying "It died Mama. It's dead Mama". This has been going on for about forty five minutes so far. He also seems hesitant to go outside. I am not sure what to do with him now. Great big dead turkeys in the window might might have an effect on little boys.
Oh, I am supposed to look up wild turkey recipes now.......
I was looking for a gift for my Godchild's wedding shower (which I am taking her out to eat rather than attending) and went to the local Catholic Bookstore. I thought something for their wall would be nice. There were several nice sayings etc. on display. One was a "God Bless this Home" framed picture and on the bottom it had an Irish word, Fáilte. So I took the picture to the counter and asked what that word meant as I had never seen it before. She actually wasn't sure although many items had it on it around the store. Two other patrons eagerly entered the conversation and thought that it meant peace or......Good Luck. I politely giggled and questioned this and said I wanted to know for sure what it meant as I was not quite sure about giving a plaque that stated "God Bless this Home" and "Good luck with that". :o) They laughed and saw my point. I put the picture back and kept looking but one of the women took it upon herself to figure it out and approached me to let me know it meant "welcome". Well, that makes more sense I suppose. I just found it amusing they thought it meant good luck paired with wishing God's blessing. Perhaps you had to be there but now I know what that word means.
I am following through with my dear sweet husband's practical suggestion on how to get rid of fat on the upper part of my disproportionate self......chuck wood. We have his lovely mistress the wood splitter that creates large piles of wood to chuck into bins. He is SO right and it is a great suggestion. I suppose this could be seen as a landmark bonding moment for the two of us. I am not known to be a lover of wood but frankly I could chuck wood for a LONG time. I feel very desperate to get back in shape for various reasons. One of which is I feel better in general if I am getting in shape. Another being I am less likely to bite any one's head off when I am in shape. (Sorry for those headless people I've encountered in life that I wasn't exercising) (Thankful for those who have lost their heads who still put up with me....) I also save money as my ancient dusty wardrobe becomes useful again. There are many dangers in this endeavor that will not be mentioned here but I am having fun working harder.
Biking with my husband who claims to need to get in shape can be quite humiliating as he pedals with one foot while I stand up working EXTREMELY hard to get myself up the hills. He doesn't exactly mock me but finds this very interesting. I find it very perplexing why I am working myself intensely while he is sauntering along at the same speed. Could be annoying if I think about it too hard. Maybe by the end of the summer I can give him more of a workout. He goes along to protect me from the boogie man (which for the first time we did see some suspicious characters who I would not have wanted to come across on my own). If he is NOT in shape what does that make me??????
Best go stretch my sorry body and foot, with the perpetual pain thing going on, out so I can walk tomorrow morning.
My mom is doing what I have wanted to do. She has joined a community band and is looking forward to practicing and participating in concerts etc. this summer. She too played the horn in High School and is pretty good about being able to pick it up and making it do what she wants it to do. Perhaps some day I will do the same sort of thing but am not sure I can commit to a weekly stint at the moment. I heard of a local one here that seems to be more of a strong commitment than the one she is playing for.
In the meantime I hope to practice for the sake of keeping my brain going and for enjoyment. Playing at church is nice but will have to talk my piano playing friends into a glass of wine and just enjoying some playing together for some evenings this summer. I recall having a very good time doing that a few years back. I think I would also like to impress upon my kids what it means to practice. The only trouble with this is fitting this plus the gardening and helping my kids with their weak points in school over the summer. Perhaps I can practice right after the baby wakes up in the morning......it would serve a double purpose.....
I am happy that I think I have found a solution to one of my kids weak points just this afternoon so will look forward to working that out.
Congratulations mom on finding some fun! Very happy for you!
I was driving the kids to Catechesis class this afternoon down our road and on the side of the road there was a pile of some sort of pipes. I looked at them and turned to Anna and said, "Dad is going to pick those up and bring them home." She looked a little dubious.
On my return trip without the kids, I saw a truck pulled to the side of the road by where those pipes were. Charley had driven his car to work and I knew he had said he was on his way home so.....this man steps out of the truck and I thought to myself (seriously not getting it) "Huh, that guy has a hat just like Charley's." and then I thought, "Huh, he has a very similar build to Charley's" and "Oh! That IS Charley!" He must have rushed home after seeing the pipes and grabbed the truck and beat it back there. That man is fast. I then told Charley upon us both getting home, "Guess what I told Anna when we drove down Magnolia Rd?" He couldn't guess. He was amused that I knew exactly what he was going to do without even talking to him. That's my problem, I can predict what my family is going to do before they do it. I'm sure I make them nutty. (No, I don't read minds, just personalities. It's a curse.)
NEVER have I witnessed such fascination with a jar of strawberry jam. My Cecilia was given a gift of a jar of jam from her friends at church. She VERY carefully followed their instructions with great enthusiasm. Every other small child in the family carefully observed whatever she was doing with her jam. She carried it with her for the first allotment of time and was very excited that her grandmother was coming at the appointed time to put the jam in the refrigerator so she would remember to put it there. As soon as my mother pulled in the driveway she was running for her jam jar.
The next morning her beloved jam was removed from the fridge and opened. She lovingly painted her toast with it. Her little brothers observed her love of her jam and wanted some too. She did share and I did not observe she skimped on their toast. There is a little jam left now four days later but she does not seem too concerned. She told me quite confidently that she was told the jam would last 30 days in the refrigerator. I hope she will be OK when her little brothers again look longingly at her jar of jam this morning.......
Now if I made a jar of jam.....it would rot in the refrigerator. Perhaps I will have her make some jam to help soothe her grief. Thank you sincerely to the jam makers and givers for adding much excitement to my sweet, innocent Cecilia's life. I need to copy this tale into her scrapbook.
So far so good I am finally not eating like such a pig anymore. I think that is why I woke up at 4:00am and could not get back to sleep. We ate at 4:00pm yesterday and I didn't eat anything else so I guess my stomach growling woke me up. I am trying a little popcorn to try to get better sleep tonight. My brain doesn't turn off too easily either so I am not sure I can blame that on my stomach. But....eating less is certainly what is needed to chisel some more fat off of me. I can bike farther, faster then a month ago and I can do more push ups and sit ups then a month ago. I am not sure how much of this glued on fat I can get rid of but I am giving it the old college try. I certainly was in better shape back then.
My kids have a great sense of humor. We have been kidding around about the Cone of Silence. They know that noise has been making me crazy and the older ones totally get the ineffectiveness of the Cone of Silence on 'Get Smart'. So we were driving around to art and organ lessons last Thursday and picturing eight kids locked in a van with their crazy mother who asks, "I need my Cone of Silence" and then.......the older three right on cue start in with the "What?! I can't hear you! Can you say that again???? What? What? I can't hear you!" They are such a scream. At least they can laugh about what makes me nuts.....noise not the Cone of Silence.
I hope today brings some happy times together. Ironically my favorite thing is to spend time with my kids. I dream of gaining some structure to the summer so I can get to my little people more, get some house fix it stuff done and then there is the whole yard thing. Mostly I want to have some fun with my kids and my Anna before I lose her to IU. My stomach gets tied up in knots quite often just thinking about the days flying by. 'Oh stop it Karin. Drink your coffee and go throw in another load of laundry.'
So I do live in a Cone of Silence in reality. Har har. None of us can hear what the other person is saying except those who don't need to hear what is being said. :o)
Mowed the lawn today. That was the good news. The lawn looks mostly better. Then.....the mower started acting up and Charley threatened to put it out of it's misery. Back to the shop it goes - the Charley shop.
Three kids played in the hammock most of the afternoon and evening and then Stefan begged to be put to bed. Three oldest boys nearly fell asleep in their plates too.....hmmmm......
Eldest daughter worked on using up more material from Mrs. Plasschert. This one is more difficult I would say then most. She does not seem too put out though and is changing parts of the pattern. And no, it will not make an appearance tomorrow.
My stupid heel is still bugging me. Not sure what to think about that.
Hmmmm......had fun with Anna and Erik garage sailing Friday morning. They were pretty funny. I think I have had my fill of that activity but did find some things we actually needed. We then went to lunch to have some quiet discussion of life etc. That was nice. Ingrid entertained us sucking on a french fry.
That's all the news from Hornerdom today....hope that sounded more cheery.
Every couple of years or so I reach my limit or burn out so to speak. I SO know that feeling but it takes me quite a while to figure it out. Unfortunately I am at that point again. I know the solution but that is not going to work right now so will describe how wonderful the solution was a few years ago. It goes like this.
We planned a trip to go camping and life was much like it is now....nonstop busy, little time to breathe, working too hard and not being able to just be quiet and enjoy my kids. I thought I was going to crack and maybe my kids thought I was going to too. So we were getting ready for the camping trip and it occurred to me....."Charley, I am staying home. Take the kids and I will see you when you get back". And he complied........it was wonderful. It was silent. Just birds chirping, crickets doing that too, silence. I cried and reveled in just some time to rest and not have to answer to anyone or have to do anything for anyone. Totally selfish. After a day or so I got up the energy to attack the house and just enjoy it staying clean for more than an hour. I went out to eat with a few friends and didn't have to wash the dishes. I did not feel mean and hateful, just relief. This job, this vocation is hard. It is exhausting. I have felt like it is not OK to feel this way and that I must be just a negative person but at the moment I am hitting a wall. I am sure things will improve. I have some plans tomorrow that should bring a little relief but as far as long time silence and recuperation that does not seem like it is in my future. This does not mean I am cracked, but that life has just been WAY too demanding as of late and I just needed to admit to myself and my family that I need some alone time.
I must add that I am very comforted by other mothers who admit that their job is hard and that they might need a drink of wine at night and that perhaps the kids made them nutty today. When moms look at me cross eyed if I make a remark about being worn out from dragging kids, then I feel discouraged and yucky. Thank you LaRena and Anita especially for making me laugh. I really do not think my personality lends itself to long endurance and staying sugary sweet which is nothing I am proud of but at least I don't feel totally crazed when I hear that other moms struggle with this too.
Of course I am comforted by the Gospel. There is nothing that makes me more worn out then being deprived from hearing it. Thank you dear pastors for faithfully giving the Gospel to me. It does really help. I can feel selfish at church too though as whining two year olds might push the limit but fortunately that does not happen too often.
So there you go. I am hiding from the kiddos right now. They actually have been feeling much the same way as I do and I did recommend that they try to get away from each other and just have quiet.
We have been watching too much Get Smart lately and I am very intrigued by the Cone of Silence. I want one of those but I don't think I would let anyone in with me very often. I suppose it would help to have it during lessons with little children who can't seem to screen out the rest of the racket. I can picture myself smiling and buzzing around the house working on whatever needs to be done without hearing all the crying, whining, relentless mommy questions etc going on around me. That would be very nice just for a day. I guess this is what mothers had in the over glorified fifties - public school - their cone of silence.
Picking myself up by the boot straps, I return to my regularly scheduled programing.
Since figuring out I had this plantar fascitis problem I have been dutifully stretching my foot seemingly constantly and......it helped! My foot feels MUCH better this morning. I have always been terrible about stretching where exercise is concerned. Usually when I return from exercising there is someone who needs me and so I just don't do the stretching. I will try to do better. I can not wait for the mower to be up and running . I am obsessed about chiseling the fat off my body. As many of you know this is not an easy task the older you get. It seems to be glued on in some spots. I have nothing more to say on this subject at this time. I really need to go crack the whip so I can squeeze in my bike ride before the Thursday insanity of the afternoon.
I have run the same load of laundry three times in the last three days. Don't ask me why but something has gone wrong with it each time. I am B.E.H.I.N.D.! Sorry FlyLady. It is just true. I am contemplating putting my MP3 player on and staying up to find some surfaces. Or.....I might just try to get to sleep so I can do a bunch of that tomorrow. I've been reading my brains out, trying to keep up with the kids stuff and now it is a jungle out there. I love warmer weather but the work load for me starts to get out of control. Hopefully the lawn mower parts come in Friday so I can tackle some of it over the weekend. Oh No! Another whining post. I'll try to behave. I do love mowing the lawn as it allows me a little time to have quiet from family noise. It is a different kind of noise but my brain is not interrupted for a basically predictable amount of time and let's face it, Karin without exercise is not a very nice Karin. I should have been a lumber jack or something which requires a lot of physical activity. I'll be getting plenty of that soon so as long as I can catch up on the house, the clothing switcheroo, the ironing, the book reading for next year, and riding herd on the math then life should improve. Just do the next thing Karin......
I've been fighting the cranky wankies and while planting potatoes was thinking that dumping me on a deserted island with some nice beaches for a while would be a great idea. Of course it would be nice if the island had pineapple and banana trees too. I am not sure and I am sure why I feel that way but cannot necessarily explain it. Oh well.
Life with eight kids and the ADD husband always keeps me on my toes. I can only explain it that way. Desert Islands sound good when the dishes are piling high, the kids can't seem to catch up on their school work, the dishes break, the house gets cluttered, and so on and boring so on. I am not depressed, just having a Calgon moment. School is also getting very difficult as I become more ADD myself. Also as the weather improves, my jobs increase. We should have fresh lettuce and spinach within the week though so perhaps that will improve my mood. Is this post ADD or what????
Ramble, ramble, ramble.......moral of this tale is perhaps to give this crazed woman some space and perhaps make sure she gets some exercise to improve sanity. Missed my bike ride again today :o( Hoeing helped but biking would have made it better.
We have gone from two hives to four hives and tomorrow will hopefully successfully create a fifth hive when I split the hive at our vege farmer friends property. We could even create a sixth hive here but we shall see how the equipment holds out. I just found it interesting that when I went to one of the hives yesterday I discovered they had swarmed into the honey super above the queen excluder and I very easily had two strong hives with no money put out in queens or packages. I had ordered a package and the people said they would call me when it came in and they never did for which I am glad. All four hives are nice and strong so I also need to call my supply source and get some more frames for honey supers fast. It is of course exciting that there is some prospect of getting more honey this year but will try not to count my honey before it is gathered.
Clearly I need to cut people's hair more often. When I got done with Grizzly Adams I found Charley underneath. Now all he needs is a fresh sleek new dress shirt and tie and......well....never mind. Why don't I keep up on that boy????? I think he was excited he had hair to cut and was avoiding the scissors. I did something a little radical and I was frankly surprised he was still employed with that scraggly mess he had before but the state of his hairdoo clearly does not effect anyone at Bosch. Now to work on him smiling a charming smile more often. He has gained at least five to ten years this afternoon. I wonder if a good hair cut also brings down one's cholesterol level.
The rest of the kids got a hair cut too accept little Stefan who was happier to keep playing and doesn't need a hair cut too badly anyway. Matthew just told me to please behave and not make it as short as last time. They all look pretty spiffy now. Phew. Now what to do with my own mop. I think I would lose five to ten years too with it a little shorter again.
Ingrid is snoring. I must go find a sitter so I can go on a quick bike ride. Perhaps I will get a picture up here soon. I bet he won't be mistaken for Grandpa anytime soon.
The last few days I have been dragging and lacking motivation to chase the latest panic. There are plenty of latest panics too. The sun is shining today so I am dreaming of catching up with the laundry, some lawn mowing, and gardening. We will be able to rake up the clippings for mulch the grass is so high. The mowing should burn off many of my fat cells too. I drank some real coffee this morning in hopes that might jump start me a little more effectively but it may just result in my being quicker to bite some one's head off.
Other news of excitement. I ordered two fifty foot row covers for the broccoli, spinach etc. I am very excited about the prospect of fresh spinach salad soon. It is up and doing very well. There is quite a bit of lettuce doing well too. Broccoli without wormies to soak out of it sounds fantastic to me. The asparagus is up and producing and we had our first batch last night. The heat totally jump started the asparagus and we need to cut it every day now. I would like to plant more so we have more to share. We have the land so it seems logical to use the land for good purpose.
LaRena is giving a garden class this morning at church so I need to get my dragging self going so I can go dream of our gardening success this summer :o) Wouldn't it be nice to rename the homestead "Our Farm of Perpetual Produce?" Sigh it is not "Our Farm of Perpetual Productivity" at the moment.
My blog just erased the post.....oh botheration. Yes.....went to some neighborhood garage sales today and I can see where they do become addicting. Both my friend and I did pretty well considering the little amount spent and a few hours to work with. Her one year old, Ingrid and Matthew the van sitter came along. I love it when I find the generous sale where the prices are very low and the stuff is worth looking at. Clearly they wanted to get rid of their stuff. Anyway it was fun and I might consider doing it again.
Charley got some not so good and not very surprising news at work in light of Chrysler declaring bankruptcy. It was not any actual news yet for Bosch but who knows what will happen as much of the auto industry is shutting down for eight weeks. Bosch just sent out a memo stating the facts of how the eight week shut down will effect suppliers which they are one of them. Stay tuned for news on that front.
I wanted to mow the lawn but didn't quite get the mower up and running so I hit the road on the bike again. I have had TOO much fatty stuff in the last few days as I am sucker for something tasty.
Married for 22 years.
Mom to eight kids 9 mos to 18 years. Life is full of parenting a variety of ages and all that goes with them and of course taking care of the ever hardworking hubby. I do still love to mow the lawn, knit a few stitches when I can, and spend time with friends when I can.