Saturday, August 15, 2009

Sense and Sensibility

I took time out this afternoon while folding laundry to watch Sense and Sensibility again with my kids. I love that movie and I love that story. I've never read the book and perhaps I can squeeze that in somewhere, but I find it astoundingly refreshing that the characters actually seemed concerned about their reputations. If ONLY people gave a hoot about preserving their innocence or even in their wonderful unspoken fashion protected each other's reputations and their basic need to stay pure till they were able and ready to be married. I know that those stories are fiction but still, I do think people actually thought about such things once upon a time. They actually stopped to consider appearances of too intimate of conversation between two people of the opposite sex and perhaps gossiped about who liked who or who was spending time with who. Now it just seems excepted that young people date around, have intimate times via time together or on the Internet with the whole chat thing. I can see some benefits to chatting in that people can live far apart but still, it seems a little odd to me at times. I could have titled this post The Internet as well or perhaps I might rant on about that in another post. It just makes me sad at times that the Internet can pull us away from our families who live in the same house with us and promote relationships with others that can be more than they should between very young people. I have not pushed the Internet with my boys at all thus far, although I think it would be nice for them to some degree as everyone else seems to be so dependant on it. My boys don't have tons of friends and maybe that is why but really, when I was their age (and yes I was a girl) I went to my friends homes or called them on the phone to talk and I could tell all their intonations and expressions for what they were. The Internet has caused problems even for my family in misunderstanding both from within and without.

I can remember a time when perhaps I had four kids, that the email groups became way too much of an obsession for me and an escape. I neglected my kids and my family and shouldn't have done that. It is still somewhat of a draw and I am processing that but am also processing how to direct my kids with all of this. I suppose my boys are not very interesting to other boys their age as they do not watch sitcoms, play video games, use the Internet, or chat with everyone at church online. I wish they had some more intimate friends (boys) to share guy time with but for now Boy Scouts for Matthew and adults for Erik is the way it goes. I was VERY happy for them at the Higher Things conference that they had some pal around time with friends. They have some occasional get togethers with other boys but that is not that often. I hope we can work on that some more. Oh.....this makes me think that some people may suggest they line up more of a social life but frankly I have told them they are free to invite people over and we try but life is busy and they really are not suffering poor mes over anything. It is their mother who worries about it more than they do.

I should have made this two separate posts but I guess I still may ramble on about this later. Keep in mind this post is about Horner culture and life, the later part. Everyone makes different choices and I suppose I will ramble on about some life wisdom I have imparted to them in another post. I have been thinking a lot about all those conversations as Anna is getting ready to leave and I am very pleased with her confidence and definite opinions regarding herself and relationships with other young people around her. We all have room to grow and she certainly does too but overall she is very balanced. She is much more balanced than I was at that age. I thought I was just all so wise and wonderful and certainly wiser than my parents and other adults. Oh brother. I think that did travel through a lot of my college days. I see this in the young people around me and it makes me feel older anyway to hear myself thinking the same things that were prattled on at me by older people then. College kids have very little life experience in the way of supporting themselves, taking care of others, having kids and responsibilty, thinking about other people besides themselves and......that is normal and natural. Of course they haven't . I do think Anna has learned A LOT in her assistance around the house and she really is not very critical of me at all or acting superior. I am proud of her and I love her a lot. Better stop typing now.

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