The last few weeks has been a blur but I am thankful it has been a somewhat less painful blur this year. One thing that I have most appreciated is the decision we made several years ago to exchange gifts after the first day of Christmas. The tree was up a week ago and was just plain old pretty with no gifts under it. It strikes me that the household happiness seems to be centered on what 'the mom' is able to orchestrate and having one less thing on this mom's list helped make things more enjoyable to me. Why should the mom's Christmas be a time of stress and questioning of what she is able to get done? What she hasn't gotten done. When my dear friends tell me they haven't even started making out Christmas cards it is only with compassion and understanding that I smile in return. I suppose I tire of the world's expectations of 'how things are supposed to be done'. I personally have a small stack of cards that haven't made it out yet and this seems to be true every year. I always sort of gaze at that stack and think "Hmmmmm, I hope those poor people receive their card from me this year as it may get shoved aside in light of other pressing things." Sometimes these 'things' are not even pressing but merely time I have taken to rejuvenate myself for the weeks of school ahead. Is 'the mom' allowed to do this and not feel guilt or pressure to perform? I hope so. I took an accidental nap this afternoon. This was either the result of too many cookies or from allowing myself to actually sit down with my youngest children and watch an old tv sitcom with them. Naps happen.
Right now I am sitting on a bucket in my kitchen with sleeping Ingrid on my nap. I have fish chowder cooking away on the stove top and most of the dishes from yesterday are getting under control. Why sweat the dishes too much on the second day of Christmas? I have been thinking depressing thoughts too of how I have SOOO looked forward to celebrating the twelve days of Christmas with the daily services at church but am bummed at the condition of our road. It is downright dangerous out there. There are four or five inches of ice from the melt downs and deep freezes with freezing rain on top. We foolishly braved it this morning and I was not in fear of our lives but was not looking forward to the deductible and the possibility of even hitting another car. Sigh. Tomorrow morning is not looking much more hopeful with fog. I can not see the ice changing too much overnight but will stumble down the drive to access things in the morning.
That is all for now. The cards still lay on the piano bench where I left them last Thursday and maybe I will blow the dust off the last few in the next few days if I am not reading a book or enjoying my friends and family.
Receiving the Seed of the Sower
1 week ago