Monday, May 21, 2007
I know what I want to say but can't say it
There are many times that I try to explain myself and I just can't seem to get my brain out of my head and make myself clear. There are times I say things just because it is sort of fun to talk about. There are times I do that and totally lose the person I am talking to. I am not sure this is common for everyone but it can cause me to get depressed. Then I so want to stop the conversation and say "Look, don't take it so seriously" like the old song 'Pack up your troubles and smile, smile, smile.' I think I just talk outloud or think outloud and then later wish I hadn't said anything. For anyone reading this it is not pointed at any particular conversation really but just an observation about myself. I do know that I am NOT good at expressing myself in theological/faith terms but that may be a paranoia of 'saying it wrong'. If someone else explains something theological or I read it I think "that is amazing! How do you do that" and then I remember that it is usually someone who is trained and called to do that so why does it surprise me. So for what it is worth, I am lamenting my inability to explain this thinking that goes on in my head - maybe even here it doesn't make sense. This is not really a 'poor me' but an observation.