Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Another Day in my life

Thinking about Ivan I must say there are only seasons of life in Hornerdom that seem like a sentence in prison camp. There are days in the summer where we have spent the whole day, the whole family, working on the garden, animals, canning etc and there is no down time. This goes on for weeks. So that is what the Anna and I are thinking about. The rest of the year is the work that goes with a large family- laundry, perpetual kitchen clean-up etc.

Gatsby was more depressing to me than Ivan. It was about a different kind of selfishness and the characters did not even seem to realize a single thought of survival but more of what they could get for themselves from others. Yikes. I read that book in high school and am not sure I could quite understand it then but I do think it was worth the kids reading no matter how depressing.

It also occurred to me that a person could think I view my family as a life sentence. No, but the reality is that little people play a factor in my life and have for a while. I don't dislike little people but as the Concordian Sisters put it, sometimes it is hard to be bothered by their every need that keeps going and going. I forget that the husband goes to a job where people are stressed and look forward to no pay raises. I live in my little bubble world of changing diapers and figuring out what is for dinner. I shouldn't be depressed, but sometimes I am......go figure.
I am thankful for all the little faces here and relish the last year with one of them. I see the now 16 year old contemplating what to do with his life and know that his time is limited here too.

The next class read is "Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry" which is about the Great Depression I think. Ha! That should cheer me up. I remember a friend laughing at me when I was in a period of depression for chosing to read "Angela's Ashes". "What were you thinking????" she asked. I don't know but it was a page turner.

Today was better than yesterday, at least in this house. I was able to move around the house and get a few things done while Matthew held sleeping Ingrid. Hopefully we can get through a whole lesson in math this afternoon.

Oh.....I think the leaves falling off the trees does not help my disposition either.......

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