I think it doesn't really matter all that much that people are getting together and having fun and hearing cool stuff. I think I have been so tired and behind on everything lately that I can not stand that it is Monday and I don't seem to have the strength to attack what needs to be done on top of all the grading and helping that needs to be done. Everyone seems to need so much help with everything that I am not sure how to improve upon the situation. I was tempted to look into a high school for Matthew but it is outside my ability to pay and also requires parent volunteering. Parent volunteering IS NOT what I need. I will still go to the information night and spy on their program I guess. I can not see that working out at all. I am NOT interested in financial aid which translates to a loan. No thank you. My weekend disappeared and my helpers were off at Scout camp and came home too tired to help. There are no easy answers. I can't do it all and my emotions get the better of me and I cry "No fair!" (just like Benjamin) when others have opportunity to just do something they love. We are only into the second week back at school and I need a vacation! Perhaps I need warmer weather and a way to kick the kids outside so there is less noise and inability to concentrate here. The little kids are whiny and unhappy and I get sick of the tv on to entertain them so perhaps we will get something done.
If you have fewer children and are not overwhelmed, perhaps you shouldn't read this. Too late. I'm just in a funk. If I felt more of the want to, then perhaps things wouldn't seem so grim. I have quite the age spread to attend to and it is NOT easy. SO............I hope everyone who is having fun this week has a lot of fun and I will do my best to get stuff done here and figure out some way to not feel so overwhelmed.
Receiving the Seed of the Sower
1 week ago