Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Seasons of Life

I personally love the whole understanding of vocation. I'm a mom and a wife......pretty obvious. I'm not just a mom and a wife. I am a teacher in a one room school house. I am almost primarily that. On the side I am a chef and a house cleaner/laundress. I'm a home manager. In my spare time I pay the bills, guidance counselor, gardener, food preserver, and a chauffeur. Oh yes, grocery shopper I am as well. I don't wear any special clothing which tells the world what I do (OK..........maternity clothes sometimes but they don't tell the whole tale).

If I were to give a presentation on homeschooling today probably my biggest emphasis would be that this task of homeschool is frankly a little nutty. I am sure the above list is not even complete. Homeschooling this age range is not for the faint of heart. And............there is one key player that will help keep the wife out of the looney bin. THE DAD. The dad here has been more helpful as of late and I guess it was thinking about a few brief comments to the children in support of the mom that sort of lit a light bulb in my head. Mom's doing this insanity called homeschooling, which has the potential huge benefit to said children, need support from THE DAD. They don't just need support, they need the kind of support which encourages the wife in do something alone and different than cooking after a day of riding herd on all the kiddos. I guess it would otherwise be known as stepping up to the parental plate. I have been amused by comments made even by the resident dad, that the dad might express surprise that the baby might cry or fuss or the the general noise gets on their nerves. HA! Really???? We moms of course roll our eyes a little at those comments. If it bothers the dad for a short time, is it possible the moms could use some quiet refreshment from time to time which may even include getting away for lunch with a friend, going to events that hold interest to them such as my new endeavor of playing in the band with no guilty statements attached???? Should the mom feel guilty about having interests of their own??? Should I feel bad about asking the dad to be around and help a little more? Frankly if there is not more dad help, this homeschooling for the long run with lots of ages is pretty much asking more than is humanly possible without falling into habits of irritability, depression, fatigue, crankiness at others, losing time to enjoy the kids during the evening and not fall into the roll of homework chaser. Or...........looking at the enjoying the kids aspect...............I would like to enjoy my kids and not just be their task master. That is probably why I do try to take individual kids to do various things alone as that is when I enjoy the most.

I commend those dads who are involved. The dads pretty much have to be. If they can't teach then they sure better know that their wives need help. I don't know if I can properly explain how 15 years of year and year out homeschooling, facing the challenges, trying to be conscientious and give the kids the quality of education that they should have is............intense. That word says it all. Intense. The moms who seem the sanest to me are the ones who the dad is involved. Involvement does not have to be teaching, but assuming that the mom is just OK is not OK. We put up a great front I think.

This may seem like whining to some. I don't think it really is . I think it's reflecting on the high expectations laid before a mom to homeschool their kids and expect them to just be strong for everyone and take care of everyone without remembering the mom is human, needs to rest too and be refreshed (some more than others as every one's tolerance differs), and for the rest of the world to perhaps think about that some as well. We can't read each others minds. I am not really speaking to pat myself on the back, but I personally feel combining homeschooling, having more than the 2.1 children, taking the kids through all the rest of normal parenting i.e. potty training, physical care - wiping noses, feeding, and then there is...............paying attention to the dad person/husband.............there is a whole different set of responsibility and role of vocation - LOL!

So there dads. If you are reading this and you homeschool, don't forget to help your wife, the mom of all those God given blessings. Help your wife enjoy them by taking off some of the heat. It is a season of life for the dads too. It is not just a season of life for the moms as I have heard some say resolutely about their roles as moms with a bunch of little kids, it is the dad's season of life too. Sacrifices of not having as much time to do what the dad wants to do might have to be made to help the situation as a whole. Perhaps this might tick some people off but I feel pretty strongly that this is VERY true. The dad here has been helping more in the parental role as of late which is what made me realize the importance of this whole subject to begin with. I APPRECIATE IT AND NEED IT!!!!

Season of life.............

1 comment:

Made to Mother said...

I totally agree. My husband and I are just beginning the adventure that is homeschooling. I researched, ordered, and just received some of the curriculum for our oldest daughter. While I am looking forward to starting this endeavor, I also know that it will be trying, and that I will need my husband's help. This decision was a joint one, so we will need to be supportive of each other. Mothering can make us go crazy, so I hear you on your need to have a hobby or time out that doesn't involve our families. For as much as we love them, we need to have something of our own.