Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Frustrations

I have dug in my heels and am insisting we have some return to routine around here. Life has been very unpredictable this summer with kids going hither and yon and the parents staying home and picking up the pieces in between their journeys. I have almost consistantly broken down in tears every Monday evening at church or at home for the sheer exhaustion of trying to keep up or maybe make some progress on a 'summer' project. Sigh. I think I am scaring some people away from me but truly it is not just hormones. It is a combination of a lot of things but as one friend observed, our weekends tend to be a scramble to get things done with little to no schedule outside of church and then Monday comes and I let down my guard and......lose it. My ultimate conclusion is that we MUST have some routine and limit to the nuttiness of our little homestead here and do weird things like eat at a predictable hour, keep up with the house and maybe spend some time together doing things other than slave work. The husband has been extremely frustrated with his tools that are supposed to be so wonderful and a project that was supposed to be somewhat easy to accomplish is becoming tedious. I told him to just do what he can do today and it will eventually get done but doing things like eating on time and putting his exercise, children, wife etc ahead of 'the project' will not hurt him or anyone else. This is probably too much information but.......I dare to blog.

I love the fall schedule for church and am excited that things should work out fairly smoothly from week to week and my little ones can get to bed at a reasonable hour as well. Thank you Pastors! The fall school schedule also seems to be good and is not sending me into panic attacks wondering when laundry and cooking will get done.

The baby coming in 4ish weeks is of course on my mind and some days I feel calm about that and some days I have too good a memory of the process of their entering the world. The last time went better than it ever had so I shouldn't worry so much about it. The doc knew what to do with back labor and suddenly things were not so bad. Same doctor so I am grateful for that.

So I am just hoping to not set myself up for public crying next week and dh and I are trying to work out a schedule that will work best for the kids and sanity. Cooler weather would help too......and if I am caught crying in public, please do not avoid me altogether and I will pull myself together eventually. It isn't just hormones or upcoming birth, it is a huge combination of stressers that processing outloud usually helps me find where relief might be possible.

Off to nighty, nighty land.

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