Friday, October 02, 2009

Figured out why I am hyper

I should NOT be taking time out to do this but I am so hyper I cannot help myself. It is very interesting to me that certain people's reveling in their 'poor me's' is making me confront my own issues. In thinking about the mentality of poor me's I am recognizing that I don't know a single person who does not in one way or another revel in their great amount of daunting whatever in their lives. Drat that vocation thing does drag us down doesn't it? The particular person/people who revelled to my personal frustration have made me want to get off my duff and attack my daunting lists. I find it comical in an ironic sort of way that our daunting lists leave us wanting attention etc. Poor me. I am as guilty as the next person about this. It also makes me over process what compassion or the lack there of looks like. Another person's poor me's can honestly make me a little mad. I know that shouldn't be but frankly the, everyone has something daunting in their lives thing does not make it a contest to see who has it worse. Boy that sounds cold. How do I cheerfully show compassion and yet address other people's responsibility to do what they are given to do now and help them recognize that EVERYONE has daunting stuff to face up to. My daunting list does not give me any public recognition of importance and the funny thing is the 'mom thing' is not recognized much at all as having any significance to rest of the world at all.

Gosh I have been guilty of feeling sorry for myself and thinking 'poor me.' Stop it. Easier said than done. I quickly gravitate to poor me when I see an infant or contemplate others potential of enlarging their families and then bam I might start overprocessing fretting over that. That IS my biggest issue right now I would say. I crossed off the list for now being frustrated with hyper ADD family members, daughter flying the coop, and my inability to get it all done (this I am sure will all real its ugly head again) and so I am now learning to be content from month to month without the poor me thing, trying not to cry thing, and will try to keep MY vocation thing clearly, cheerfully in front of me. Ha! Life is so funny.

So that is why I am hyper. I don't even dare to write this stuff as there are so many theologically versed people who lurk around that I am certain that what I am thinking and processing is somehow off. Sure I know all of this post might smack of some sort of self-righteousness but frankly I see everyone floating in the same boat and dealing with our own sin (or not) and me hyper. I have a strong need to face my own poor me's right now so there! Na nee na nee poo poo! I will do my best to exercise my compassion muscle for my neighbor's struggles and poor me's. It is the least I can do in light of my own.

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