Friday, January 04, 2008

Presumptions and forthrightness

I have been thinking of how these two words go together. If we presume we understand another person because of what we may or may not do in their situation then we forget that they are different people. If we presume upon any tension experienced that we 'know' what is going on then we may be wrong.

I have been told I am forthright. I think I am forthright because I don't think it is a good idea to guess what is going on. I may forget that a person is VERY stressed or not even know. I just like to ask questions to clear the air so there is no confusion. I also am known to just say it like it is. I can see where a person may even sin against another because they are guessing and not seeking to understand a given situation. I am certain I HAVE done that. Perhaps I am forthright mainly because conflict drives me nuts and knowing what in the world is going on seems so much more productive and supportive to everyone involved.

Of course I may not be forthright with a young person I barely know picking their nose in public, for instance. That is a tension that is best left to the parents or some kid who just says it like it is. I am not into embarrassing people to 'fix' the 'problem'.

The two words go together to me because our presumptions will never go away unless we are forthright. Given the right timing, we can speak to one another in love. This could be heated at first but if another person brings up the conflict is usually because they truly care for the person they are upset with. You don't even have to be upset to talk things through. What is the crime in having a better understanding of where people are at? It gives people a chance to really love each other I think. It may be upsetting at the time but usually things come out better in the end or least that has been my experience.

So.....warning......I usually can tell if there is something wrong and I usually will want to clear it up. My bad I guess but I also have seen things so improve with a little communication. So there! Sticking my tongue out at everyone - I am so naughty.

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