I was talking to a friend yesterday and we were lamenting our lack of patience with our kids at times. How we can't remember to always say things cutely to our children with that sweet little tone that just motivate them to obey etc. Yes, we lament that and we are sorry for our lack of patience. I actually am the one who had sort of a trying morning in the patience department on our way to "The imposition of ashes". How bittersweet to go to a service of coperate confession and absolution and at the same time not be able to keep my cool. Ugh.
So this conversation continued in the evening. The mom was feeling very down about this topic and yes, I can feel that way as well. But it occurred to me the question of "what have we been told by the homeschooling community?" We have been told by the funde crowd as we have read homeschooling books, spent time in 'support' groups and worked in co-op situations that we are to be these perfect little mommies and perfect little teachers who never make any mistakes. These fictional mommies, do not talk about their weaknesses or even admit that they have them. Sin is not talked about because it must not occur. If sin is talked about, it is in the context of "well, honey if you had just done things this way, you wouldn't have these problems". There is no mention of Jesus's love and forgiveness for us. The try harder mentality leaves many a mom despairing and giving up. Weakness seems never to be admitted. I remember feeling down amoung these groups and perhaps admitting it had been a hard day and being told that 'well, if your kids had Jesus in their heart they wouldn't have this problem'. Their children must never give them problems. Right?
It has been refreshing to hear and be reminded every day to live in daily confession, forgiveness and repentance. I'm not sure where I am going with this except to revisit that pretending we all have it together and never have struggles is SOOOO damaging. I need to hear that Jesus loves and cares for me and that I am forgiven. That is my comfort. I am not proud of my struggles but am comforted by the Gospel. I am also comforted to know that I am not in this alone. There are fellow Christians who also struggle with sin (duh) and they too are forgiven and loved by our Lord.